literature

And Our Scars Remind Us

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x-your-suicide-rose's avatar
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Literature Text

i.
it’s like my body is a twisted book of sorts
written in some sort of disturbing brail
with each scar telling its own story
in it’s fine raised lines
[this one’s from when you told me you loved me, and this one’s because i believed you]

ii.
this one’s from when i was six, and i tried to fly
i always thought the ravens outside my window were the prettiest thing ever
and that maybe, if i jumped i’d sprout wings and be beautiful to
[i’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing the i only lived on the second floor]

iii.
this one on my wrist, it’s from the first time i ever cut
i was eleven years old, and first discovered how great it felt to bleed
how amazing it felt to hurt myself
[what a beautifully deadly discovery]

iv.
that one on my stomach, that’s from when psychosis and anorexia got the best of me
and i tried to cut my fat from my very stomach
so maybe just maybe i could be skinny like the models i looked up to so much
[vanity and scalpels can make one ugly combination]

v.
these one’s, running in perfect straight lines down my arms
they’re from the first time i was medicated
and i had to cut just to feel anything at all
[because pain is a much nicer feeling then numbness]

vi.    
these one’s, on the inside of my thighs, they’re from when i was in the mental ward
and the doctors used to check my arms for cuts and slices
these cuts, they were the only thing that kept me sane in there
[sure, they tried to keep me away from everything i could hurt myself with, but when there’s a will, there’s a way]

vii.
this one, where the nerve damage is now, it's from the first time i got my heart broken
and the razor kissed me better all night
and whispered sweet nothings in my ear
[the razorblade always loved me better then he did, it’s love was unconditional]

viii.
and this one, that runs down my wrist, beside the vain
it’s from when i decided i couldn’t take living anymore
i spent a while in cold empty white rooms for that one
[some days i take my finger and trace it along it, and wish i had cut just a little deeper]

my body's it's own deranged autograph book
with a bloody signature for almost everybody who's ever touched my heart
the only question left now
[is will you leave your mark]



a explanation of my scars, written for a friend.
sorry for the lack of capitals.
dont like them.
they're ugly.
© 2009 - 2024 x-your-suicide-rose
Comments1
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Lexy-Rainbows's avatar
.....wow!! i love it....well written...am speechless.